Scene One: A Personal Injury Lawyer’s Office
“So you received this email today. That’s why you wanted to see me so urgently,” said Miranda Cho, adjusting her glasses as she peered at the computer screen.
The personal injury lawyer in the navy pantsuit then read the email aloud:
“Dear Michael,
I know this email will come as a shock. You think I’m at a mesothelioma conference in Chicago. But you’re wrong. There is no conference. You were easily fooled. You’re as gullible as you are kind-hearted.
You see, my eccentric uncle included me in his will. I would receive a substantial settlement of $3.5 million, but only if I were married to a personal injury lawyer, rather than just dating one. He believed I was too flighty to ever commit. You might be thinking now that he wasn’t far off the mark. That clause in the will is why I proposed to you only six weeks after we met at The Rusty Anchor, where I approached you sitting alone at a table, claiming I needed legal advice about a car accident. You looked lonely and approachable. You know the rest – a quick wedding at city hall, and now an equally quick ending.
You’re probably wondering where I am and whether I’ve received the money. Your wife is now wealthy beyond her wildest dreams and has moved to Bali, where you’ll never find me. Don’t even try.
Now you must be thinking our whirlwind marriage was just a colossal mistake. In some ways, you’d be right, especially regarding the ‘happily ever after’ part. But in another way, you’d be wrong.
You see, you could benefit financially from this. You now have the opportunity to get $700,000. All you need to do is agree to a divorce (which you don’t have to pay for). If you want, there are photos of infidelity that can be sent to you. They were awkward selfies, but you’d get the idea. You don’t have to see them if you prefer not to.
All you need to do is send me an email, witnessed and certified by your lawyer, agreeing to this arrangement. Then, as soon as possible, you’ll receive a wire transfer for $700,000. What do you say? Along with this email, you’ll find a formal document drawn up by my criminal defense attorney. The ball’s in your court. Just sign on the dotted line for the document to be legally binding.
Your soon-to-be ex-wife,
Sophia”
Miranda shook her head and then spoke, holding up the legal document on her tablet.
“While this situation is unfortunate and somewhat scandalous, this appears to be legitimate. My advice is to sign it. You have nothing to lose at this point. She’s left you, and that’s not going to change. And you stand to gain quite a bit – $700,000, minus my modest fees. You should sign it.”
Michael signed the document, and Miranda sent it via encrypted email before he left the office.
Scene Two: A Newly Enriched Michael at The Rusty Anchor
A few weeks later, as promised, Michael received the money. He returned to The Rusty Anchor, where Sophia had first approached him not so long ago. He sat alone, nursing a whiskey, when he noticed a familiar face – a woman he had admired from afar but never approached before meeting Sophia. She was Sophia’s cousin Olivia, a fact he’d learned at the wedding. She was the one supposedly organizing the mesothelioma conference but looked perfectly relaxed now. She sat by herself at a corner table.
He picked up his glass and walked over to her table. As he sat down, he offered to buy her a drink. She responded with a question.
“Aren’t you supposed to be ‘happily married’ to my cousin Sophia? What are you doing hitting on me? You should know better. What kind of husband are you?”
He replied by showing her Sophia’s email, which he had saved on his phone. Olivia read it twice, shook her head, and then spoke.
“I can hardly believe she did that to you. I thought you two got married awfully quickly. I always knew Sophia was impulsive, but her proposal to you was still surprising. You know, at the wedding, I wanted to tell you that I had often seen you here, and… well, I was quite interested in you. A couple of times, I tried to catch your eye in what I hoped was a charming way. But you didn’t seem to notice. I thought maybe you preferred solitude, so I stopped trying.”
“Then Sophia came along, and you two got together at lightning speed. I felt you had ignored my attempts because you weren’t interested in me specifically. But now things seem to have changed. You’ve changed. And your marital status is no longer an obstacle to us potentially getting to know each other. What do you think?”
He replied, “You know, I like what I’m hearing. I was interested in you too, long before I met Sophia, but I just didn’t have the courage to approach you. Now things are different. And I am different.”
“You certainly are, Michael. For one thing, you’re $700,000 richer. You shouldn’t spend that all by yourself. You might need a little help with that.”
There was a brief pause. Michael wondered for a few fleeting seconds whether Olivia might be as mercenary as her cousin Sophia. He thought, “Michael, maybe you should be cautious. What if she treats you like Sophia did?”
But before he could decide what to do, Olivia flashed an engaging smile and said,
“I’m only teasing you. I received a substantial inheritance from our eccentric uncle too. And I’d like to have someone to share it with, someone like you. Actually, not someone like you, but you specifically. I’ll have a gin and tonic. This one’s on you. But I’ll get the next round.”
“You’re certainly not your cousin, Olivia.”
“Yes, and you’re no longer my cousin’s husband. By the way, did I mention I’m a DUI lawyer? I have a feeling we’ll have a lot to talk about.”
